this is going to be a boring post

probably because I can't think of much to say, but I just feel like I should blog more. so, i'm trying. Let's see. 2011 is already going by so fast! The first month is almost over. Since I've gotten back it's been full of Evaluating and writing new forms and hopefully making tools that will last for a long time in the M&E department- well, at least it will if we have another grant similar to the one we have now.

it's been fun learning new things and soaking it all in. Well, in the next couple of weeks, many people will be leaving. SO sad. and yes, I've extended mine- i'm going the wrong way. Some days I think it's because I'm an idiot. Scratch that to most days. I don't think i'll be getting another r&r, so I'm quite sure that I will be grouchy by the time I get home and 2. I'll sleep for the 2 weeks that i have at home before I head to South Africa to visit my old roomie Amanda!

Next week I'm headed to our other base for a couple of days. Excited I get to spend some time with friends there. Last time, Jordanne and I slept on the roof of one of the houses there and I accidently kept clawing her- thinking someone had taken her. Hey, 4 a.m. is brutal. and scary when you think your friend has been taken.

i guess thus far in 2011, i'm learning to trust. so many options. not a fan of so many options, because then i feel as though the more options, the more options for making a wrong choice. but, we'll see. hopefully something back on the mother continent that I miss so dearly- or maybe one more year in Haiti, who knows. Praying for guidance as the SP Haiti chapter is coming to a close quickly. but, i think i have a couple of more years left in me.

random thoughts by me- because now i'm too tired to actually make sentences:

-grateful that I get to do what I do
-i guess not everyone is wired to LIKE to do what i do
-grateful for people that are placed in my life-it's like they are right where they're supposed to be
- linkin park- song iridescent is so true when it says- "remember all the sadness and frustration and let it go"-it makes life easier
-i love my mom- she's the coolest person in the entire world
- so grateful too for friends that bring you sun bags- yesssss for no more cold showers (thanks Jordanne)
- i think i have permanent bags under my eyes- yet i still look like i'm 17. seriously people, what 17 year old has bags under her eyes?

and i just want to say that God winked at me this week. just taking care of little things that wouldn't really fall apart- but would cause me stress. i like being the wink-ee. especially of a God wink.

So, new news in Haiti...Baby Doc- Jean Claude Duvalier- former dictator of Haiti came back last week. One of our security guys actually came up to me last Sunday and said, "do you know Jean Claude Duvalier?" and I said, "well, I know who he is, but I don't know him personally". So he asked me if it was true that he came back. I thought, why would he come back? He's been gone for years! Turns out he was on the plane from France at that moment. See, my friend Monica and I came to the conclusion that Haiti- is just one huge soap opera. At least that's how it runs. When things calm down- people do things to rile everything up. It's what makes Haiti, Haiti. So, things had started to calm down with cholera...There's still people in CTCs, but numbers are dropping and he comes back! and NOW Aristide, former president claims he wants to come back too! seriously? the week the presidential results are supposed to be released no less.

oh, man. this is going to be interesting. as are all things in haiti.

-P

Happy 2011!

Happy 2011! It's hard to believe that 2011 is already here, much less that it's getting close to mid-January! Is it true that as you get older time just goes by faster and faster? It seems true. I look back at 2010 and realise that amidst all the struggles that came about living in Haiti from the beginning of February on- what a great year it was! I'm really excited about this year- although at the beginning of the year comes with some uncertainty. My contract ends in the beginning of April, and it's always hard to leave. I will have been in Haiti for almost 14 months. It's my life. Living in a volatile nation and all that comes with it, IS my normal.

Well, moving on I guess to work stuff.

I not have a new job. I'm working with our Single Year Assistance Program (SYAP). I didn't realise how hard it would be to leave my shelter sites. When I came back from vacation, I talked to the person who took over my job and she said, "yeah, they won't give me this stuff, because they say they'll only give it to you". :). So, I went to go talk to them- and oh, I love them so much.

Especially this one site called Darbonne- definitely my favourite. 3 months ago, I happened to visit the day after two babies were born at the site. Well, when I went back two days ago, I saw one of the moms, with the baby!!! Here is the cutey...

src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdme4KEiImbtdDbQLnQDNoImEtHj_yRVqUu7Lj9fv7bt21Dk8HSLBhqIZa0VLemHitRT9RjP2I-Dczkt4Lw2Zc5dMQq3OdE9CgS-OS8wOqEIkXnmV9LSE_U0xF1eImhCzg0NuCuUeRF_w/s200/IMG_0096.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5560309872887414754" />

It's so awesome to see such a healthy baby! Born in our shelter! Oh, how beautiful.
But I must say, I am really growing to like my new job. I'm the Monitoring and Evaluation Officer for the program, so I get to
look at all of our programs, and come up with tools to well...monitor and evaluate how we're doing. To see if what we're doing is really effective. What is pretty awesome is when you get to see how effective some of our programs really are. I actually wrote a success story talking about our WASH Food For Work. Specifically our latrines. In this program- the beneficiaries dig the pit and get food for working. So at the end, they get some food, and they get a latrine that they didn't have before! (yes, in an ideal world- or maybe just Africa- they'd do it without the food- but we'll overlook that for now).


Saturday, I got to go up in the mountains to look at some of our water systems we have running. It was I think my 3rd time going deep into the mountains. Oh, man. Something about the mountains and the bush make me happy. The people are the most amazing people that you'll ever meet and man are they tough. I get tired just watching everything that they lug up and down the mountain.

Definitely amazingly gorgeous.



The photo does not do it justice. we walked and walked and walked. we went and saw the sping cachements that we are doing through our Food For Work WASH program. SO amazing, I even drank from it.- no worries. it was clean (Bev I learned my lesson)



I was glad I got my mountains fix.

So tomorrow is the 1 year anniversary of the earthquake. Today was a good reminder of that. As I was walking around talking to people, those i knew and those i didn't. They told me stories from last year- how God spared their lives. And I realised how hard it hits me. The stories I heard last February hit me harder than they did then. It's like hearing what my family had to go through- because that is what they have become.

So, tomorrow, at 4:53- if you'll remember- it's the moment of silence. Remember those who passed and those who are still here.

Okay- more later- but so far, this year is pretty awesome. Let's keep it that way.

Love,
P

oh, elections.....the never ending story

C'mon Patty BLOG! Gah! Yes, So, I know I was supposed to blog about November. So much to blog about- Cholera- Hurricane Thomas. Actually reverse that order. It should be Hurricane Thomas- THEN cholera. But now I have something else. Elections.

Let's start with that shall we?

Oh, chaos. I think we all knew that something would happen. I mean, have you ever been to a third world country where there isn't some protesting of some kind after elections? Yeah, I don't think so. Well, elections were held on the 28th of November. We had a no-fly time- as I had r&r schedule on until the 30th- but got an extra day. Things seemed surprisingly calm....until they revealed the results.

There is one candidate- Jude Celestin- that is backed by the current president- Preval. And he has a LOT of cash. Supposedly, he stuffed the ballot boxes thus putting him in 2nd place-for the run-off due to happen January 16th (I think). So, those who support Sweet Mickey- who came in 3rd- but again supposedly and kind of likely- really came in 2nd are angry because he isn't in the runoff. when things like this happen, people aren't happy. When people aren't happy- this isn't good.

So, we were thus on lockdown for 4 days as tires burned, people shot off guns, the airport was shut down and people showed their unhappiness.

The 4 days on lockdown proved to be quite boring. And i was also somewhat disappointed in lack of knowledge of what was happening. I do understand that the news probably doesn't show much- because no one cares about Haiti anymore- let's be honest- it's quite true. And I guess- that's why I figured out why I should blog more often- to be a source of information. But during this time, it was quite as I responded to e-mails acting as if nothing was really happening, because I was really thinking, "if you really knew what was happening or what life here consists of -considering i just celebrated my 10th month here 4 days ago) it would probably cause your Western mind to completely explode because you will never understand"- yet, I didn't say that- I refrain :).

On day 4 (or was it day 3) of lockdown- I got to go with some people down the street to get more chicken. It was eerily quiet. Not one Pap-a-dap (a huge bus) or tap-taps (trucks that take people places-similar to a kombi or a taxi- it's just a truck that has wooden boards on the back so many people can sit) in sight. we go down the road and you can see the remnants of burnt tires in the middle of the road. We come across a roadblock and we had to stop. At first they said they wouldn't let us pass- but they knew our people and as they moved the blocks- we said, "we'll be right back!". We go to get the chicken- and there's only a handful of people out and about. It was probably the oddest feeling that I had felt from being in Haiti. It was like everyone deserted the entire country.

I come back and call my staff to tell them no work and they tell me that shots were fired in Leogane (where we work) and where they live.

Certain airlines are finally starting to fly. Although we aren't sure if the demonstrations are going to start again tomorrow- because they don't want recounts- as that won't help if the ballots are stuffed.

I leave for vacation on Saturday to NYC! whoo hoo! I've never been- so state number 37 ( I think) is off the list and I get to visit one of my friends-personal tour of NYC- in the winter. Let's hope I don't freeze to death. Hopefully I'll make it through this week- cause mentally- I am definitely ready for vacation!

Peace in the middle east,

Pat-c (my ex-pat Haitian name)

i guess i should go back to october....

I must admit. i feel quite guilty. i haven't posted in months. each time something happens, i think about how i should post- and then just put it off- when i find myself in need of 4 or 5 blog posts. so, here we go, one major event at a time shall we? I guess one major thing that happened work wise is that we finished our 10,000th temporary shelter!



yeah! 10,000 families out of the rain. not too bad. we've been blessed with materials. so it's nice that other organizations are vamping up as we are slowing down.

so, in October- we had a couple of 3 day weekends. So, on Canadian Thanksgiving, a couple of friends and I decided to go to Dominican Republic and spend some time in Santo Domingo. We managed to get on the last UN plane (if UN employees don't fill the plane, they leave extra seats open for relief workers). and all 4 of us got on! It was my first UN plane ride, but it was so much nicer than riding a typical airplane. First, you just show up and get to avoid all the other stuff that seems to take up so much time. so, we get there and in line start talking to a guy that works for the UN. He's American and interested in our shelter program. So, I talk to him a bit about it and his family is coming to pick him up because he travels back and forth from the DR to Haiti. And he so kindly offers us a ride to where finding a cab will be much cheaper than from the airport. God Wink!

Then, we get to our hotel- in the middle of the Colonial Center in Santo Domingo, and it's beautiful! and they have the best coffee ever. Plus, they have a pool....on the roof! So, the first day was amazing. we went and saw probably every single thing that can be considered worth site seeing and even things that weren't. so, at one of our last stops, the ruins of San Francisco, we thought it was time to get creative....



and became probably my favourite picture ever. we hung out at night at the square, ate good food, and just had a BLAST. i have to say it was my favourite vacation ever too. our 2nd and last night, (we were all complaining about how much we DIDN"T want to go back) we ate at this cave.





okay- let me back up. Julie decided to come with this lonely planet for Haiti and the DR. the rest of us hated that stupid book- but i must say because of it, we ended up doing quite a lot in the book. so, "the book" as we came to call it recommended dinner in a cave and it was so cool as seen above. definitely worth it. but i guess something funny that happened was that on our way back, there was only one taxi. and he wanted to charge us something ridiculous. so we said no and kept on walking. the guy was trying to convince us that it was "dangerous". Dangerous? we said....please, we live in haiti. so we keep walking and Andrew is trying to flag down a taxi, while Julie is asking whether or not we should go back while I'm adamant about how we WILL NOT go back if we have to walk all the way back to our hotel. yet, the further we keep walking, we're thinking....hmmmm....we may never find a taxi- yet we can't go back. Literally....it was like something out of a movie.yet it was funny as about 4 minutes later we find another taxi for a reasonable price. so. yes. best. vacation. ever. with awesome people.

k. that is the update for most of october. hopefully november will come tomorrow

7 months later...

Well, it's been quite a while since i've updated...i know a lot has happened, so let's try to remember it all shall we?

first, i celebrated my birthday here. for lots of reasons, i'm not a fan of celebrating my birthday, it's usually just a let down. this year i figured it would pretty much be the same. that night, they had made me a cake that said, "Happy Birthday Patty the Hut" along with a Korea cake because it was Korean independence day too. That was so awesome! Being Korean- Korean independence day means a lot to me. Cause without it- I guess I wouldn't have my mom :).I also got some Goldfish- as that's the best snack ever- and some cards and best of all- a new workout DVD- I love workout DVDs. It was probably the best cakes ever though as you can see below:



We also moved another community in. This made our 6th full community. I believe we have over 500 families moved into communities and over 7000 shelters that are already built between communities and through our partners who build on the land that beneficiaries already have. 7000 families out of the rain. so, at this specific community in Darbonne- where we were the first NGO to build, I get there and see this:




the community had put up balloons and streamers to celebrate the move in day!!! all by themselves! gosh i love that community.

And I guess in other news: We had tried to start a new site near this amazing site that I'm talking about. Well, that place is so desperate for shelter, that about 125 more people than were supposed to showed up and started a mini riot. Long story short, our security and the UN came out as our first site dealt with the angry people to protect us. So, fearing that the worst, I was trying to give out flashlights to security committee. And the UN kept waiting for me to leave. and then our security guy said, "we have to get a hold of Patty". and Monica replied, "Oh, no one can get a hold of Patty". That made me laugh.

so, the next day, we decided to go back to put up a community board in order to somewhat cooperate with the community. i ended up finding the president of the community and talking to him about his concerns. we ended up negotiating decided that we'll come back. that was nice.

i ended up going back to the first community too, just seeing if they had any problems. turns out they didn't. and now monica and i are "THEIR blancs" (blancs is a term for foreigner). and how THEY were the ones who protected us, which is so true.

but after talking to the community, i finally realised something. that the loud, annoying, typical haitian-i don't understand them or their warped way of thinking- the reasons i despise this country.....i understood a part of them. i almost cried. they were only yelling because they are an uneducated people, who have no idea how to tell me about how they really feel. they can try talking to me, but i can't speak their language. i felt like that moment was what i really needed to somewhat get them. to stop being frustrated with them. it only took me 7 months. :)

Love
p

silence is golden

the weirdest thing happened to me today. some people were sitting around talking and i was asked if i am an introvert. immediately, i got offended. what the heck? who are you? i wondered. i've never been asked that in my life. then, i became insecure. i tried not to show it, but oh, i did. i spent the next 10 minutes processing this in my head. i'm not an introvert!! all of these thoughts flew through my mind that "these people just don't know me", "these people are crazy, so of course i seem like an introvert"

then i got mad at myself for thinking this way. i know, i know, i'm in haiti, i'm supposed to be talking about the cool stuff i get to do all day long. but, while in haiti, i've done quite a bit of processing. as i get older, i realise that i HAVE become more of an introvert. is this bad?

but then i think of why. what has happened to me? i used to talk a lot. i guess i always felt like i had to- to make myself look better, or etc. kahil gibran once said, "you talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts". i think this is true. when i made the effort to stop interrupting people and to listen (which i had a major problem with) i realised that talking didn't really seem that important anymore. it's not that i stopped trying per se, but i realise i don't need to compete for whatever it was i may have been looking for before.

then, when i became comfortable in my own skin again, i could also be quiet and not mind. so, do i need to be offended because i'm looked at as an introvert? maybe it's a compliment, or maybe, i'm just growing up :)

~P

back to life.....back to reality

why does so much happen in between blogs? oh, well. the fact that i'm not really bothered by it that much makes me feel better about it. well, i went home and surprised my dad for r&r for his birthday. we were changing our r&r policy from the last time he saw me, so he wasn't expecting me home until Christmas. it was fabulous. gosh, i love my parents. they really are great. my dad had such a good time that he said, "I should have a birthday every 3 months!" although we didn't really do much, we did. just having the opportunity of BEING with them, is the best thing I could ask for.

i am back in haiti now, and i must say, it feels pretty good. being at home, i love being with my family and it's nice to hang out with people, but as a relief worker, it's hard to find where you belong. when i go home, i realise how much of my life is NOT normal. you can't relate to people and it's just hard because I can relate to everyone else, but no one can relate to me, so it seems like they don't care, when i know that they know that they don't understand, so that's probably why they don't ask. it's kind of a hard place to be, but....this is my life and i love it.

so, back to work today and i was out in the rain for a while running through the mud trying to get places on time and tools dropped off. less disasters this time than when i went away last time which is a good sign. so, back to life, back to reality!!!

til next time,
-P