the weirdest thing happened to me today. some people were sitting around talking and i was asked if i am an introvert. immediately, i got offended. what the heck? who are you? i wondered. i've never been asked that in my life. then, i became insecure. i tried not to show it, but oh, i did. i spent the next 10 minutes processing this in my head. i'm not an introvert!! all of these thoughts flew through my mind that "these people just don't know me", "these people are crazy, so of course i seem like an introvert"
then i got mad at myself for thinking this way. i know, i know, i'm in haiti, i'm supposed to be talking about the cool stuff i get to do all day long. but, while in haiti, i've done quite a bit of processing. as i get older, i realise that i HAVE become more of an introvert. is this bad?
but then i think of why. what has happened to me? i used to talk a lot. i guess i always felt like i had to- to make myself look better, or etc. kahil gibran once said, "you talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts". i think this is true. when i made the effort to stop interrupting people and to listen (which i had a major problem with) i realised that talking didn't really seem that important anymore. it's not that i stopped trying per se, but i realise i don't need to compete for whatever it was i may have been looking for before.
then, when i became comfortable in my own skin again, i could also be quiet and not mind. so, do i need to be offended because i'm looked at as an introvert? maybe it's a compliment, or maybe, i'm just growing up :)
~P
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