7 months later...

Well, it's been quite a while since i've updated...i know a lot has happened, so let's try to remember it all shall we?

first, i celebrated my birthday here. for lots of reasons, i'm not a fan of celebrating my birthday, it's usually just a let down. this year i figured it would pretty much be the same. that night, they had made me a cake that said, "Happy Birthday Patty the Hut" along with a Korea cake because it was Korean independence day too. That was so awesome! Being Korean- Korean independence day means a lot to me. Cause without it- I guess I wouldn't have my mom :).I also got some Goldfish- as that's the best snack ever- and some cards and best of all- a new workout DVD- I love workout DVDs. It was probably the best cakes ever though as you can see below:



We also moved another community in. This made our 6th full community. I believe we have over 500 families moved into communities and over 7000 shelters that are already built between communities and through our partners who build on the land that beneficiaries already have. 7000 families out of the rain. so, at this specific community in Darbonne- where we were the first NGO to build, I get there and see this:




the community had put up balloons and streamers to celebrate the move in day!!! all by themselves! gosh i love that community.

And I guess in other news: We had tried to start a new site near this amazing site that I'm talking about. Well, that place is so desperate for shelter, that about 125 more people than were supposed to showed up and started a mini riot. Long story short, our security and the UN came out as our first site dealt with the angry people to protect us. So, fearing that the worst, I was trying to give out flashlights to security committee. And the UN kept waiting for me to leave. and then our security guy said, "we have to get a hold of Patty". and Monica replied, "Oh, no one can get a hold of Patty". That made me laugh.

so, the next day, we decided to go back to put up a community board in order to somewhat cooperate with the community. i ended up finding the president of the community and talking to him about his concerns. we ended up negotiating decided that we'll come back. that was nice.

i ended up going back to the first community too, just seeing if they had any problems. turns out they didn't. and now monica and i are "THEIR blancs" (blancs is a term for foreigner). and how THEY were the ones who protected us, which is so true.

but after talking to the community, i finally realised something. that the loud, annoying, typical haitian-i don't understand them or their warped way of thinking- the reasons i despise this country.....i understood a part of them. i almost cried. they were only yelling because they are an uneducated people, who have no idea how to tell me about how they really feel. they can try talking to me, but i can't speak their language. i felt like that moment was what i really needed to somewhat get them. to stop being frustrated with them. it only took me 7 months. :)

Love
p

silence is golden

the weirdest thing happened to me today. some people were sitting around talking and i was asked if i am an introvert. immediately, i got offended. what the heck? who are you? i wondered. i've never been asked that in my life. then, i became insecure. i tried not to show it, but oh, i did. i spent the next 10 minutes processing this in my head. i'm not an introvert!! all of these thoughts flew through my mind that "these people just don't know me", "these people are crazy, so of course i seem like an introvert"

then i got mad at myself for thinking this way. i know, i know, i'm in haiti, i'm supposed to be talking about the cool stuff i get to do all day long. but, while in haiti, i've done quite a bit of processing. as i get older, i realise that i HAVE become more of an introvert. is this bad?

but then i think of why. what has happened to me? i used to talk a lot. i guess i always felt like i had to- to make myself look better, or etc. kahil gibran once said, "you talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts". i think this is true. when i made the effort to stop interrupting people and to listen (which i had a major problem with) i realised that talking didn't really seem that important anymore. it's not that i stopped trying per se, but i realise i don't need to compete for whatever it was i may have been looking for before.

then, when i became comfortable in my own skin again, i could also be quiet and not mind. so, do i need to be offended because i'm looked at as an introvert? maybe it's a compliment, or maybe, i'm just growing up :)

~P

back to life.....back to reality

why does so much happen in between blogs? oh, well. the fact that i'm not really bothered by it that much makes me feel better about it. well, i went home and surprised my dad for r&r for his birthday. we were changing our r&r policy from the last time he saw me, so he wasn't expecting me home until Christmas. it was fabulous. gosh, i love my parents. they really are great. my dad had such a good time that he said, "I should have a birthday every 3 months!" although we didn't really do much, we did. just having the opportunity of BEING with them, is the best thing I could ask for.

i am back in haiti now, and i must say, it feels pretty good. being at home, i love being with my family and it's nice to hang out with people, but as a relief worker, it's hard to find where you belong. when i go home, i realise how much of my life is NOT normal. you can't relate to people and it's just hard because I can relate to everyone else, but no one can relate to me, so it seems like they don't care, when i know that they know that they don't understand, so that's probably why they don't ask. it's kind of a hard place to be, but....this is my life and i love it.

so, back to work today and i was out in the rain for a while running through the mud trying to get places on time and tools dropped off. less disasters this time than when i went away last time which is a good sign. so, back to life, back to reality!!!

til next time,
-P

what can i even say....

This morning, it was hard to wake up. I woke up a little later than normal. So, I finally got myself out of bed about 6:40. It started as pretty much a normal morning. I was headed to the office to print off some papers before breakfast, when I noticed commotion. Our short term medical staff was running. They were looking for our head nurse. Something about an accident. Just up the driveway of our compound. Our staff had seen it happen and 4 of our national staff were actually in the accident. They ran down the road calling for us to come help quickly.

There aren't signs in Haiti, no stoplights, except in Port Au Prince and no lines really. So, they drive super crazy. Upon hearing there was an accident, we didn't know much about it. Then, we heard that it was really bad. The nurses and our rubble team had already gone to the accident. We say a quick prayer before we decide that since the ambulance hasn't come and since it will take forever, we would probably need to take people to the hospital. I hop in one of our trucks with Ruco and drive up the driveway. We decided that i would jump out and see if they needed more trucks. when i got out, it was like something out of a movie. It wasn't just an accident, it was a bus called a Pap-A-Dap with along with another bus type truck called a Tap Tap. They had collided head on. I had never seen mass casualties. When I got there people had been thrown from the truck all the way into a ditch. on the other side. It was good timing because right when we got there the first truck had just left for the hospital.

Our other staff were there too- looking at who was already dead from those who had a chance. We got our truck full of people, we laid as many as we could in the bed and went to MSF. i was somewhat flustered and forgot for a second where MSF was, so I pulled one of our workers in the truck with us and off we went.

As we came to Dufort, the city between us and what is officially Leogane, I remembered that it's Tuesday, market day. Oh, no, I thought, how are we going to maneuver in the market? Praise the Lord that it wasn't that bad. I managed to wave a couple of tap taps out of the way and I could hear the people in the street see the people in the back of the truck, some screamed and some would just moan. One person said, "the Good Samaritan's are taking care of them".

We made it to MSF and had to unload the other trucks first. MSF called all of their staff- but I think they only had one OR, and more than one person definitely needed surgery. We finally unload everyone and come back to base. We once again checked if there was anyone else, and there wasn't. The team had already respectfully covered those in the tap tap that didn't make it with a sheet. We came back and debriefed for the rest of the morning.

Our team pulled together though. Took 8 trucks to the hospital. But it made me realise how short life is. That this morning, those 18 people that lost their lives today didn't know that it would be their last day. Did they know God? I don't know. Were they people that crossed my path that I should have showed them God? I don't know.

I don't know why it happened, but I know that God was there. The fact that it happened in front of our compound, where they could get help quickly. The fact that had the accident occurred 20 minutes later, we would not have had 75% of the vehicles that we had on hand.

Lots of thoughts.

Quite the day.

-P

singing songs of hope to me

First, should i wish everyone a happy 4th of july from me and my friend kristi from Jax Beach (oh and Happy Canada Day too). It was a fun time, we made red, white and blue cupcakes and a Canadian Flag and USA flag cake too. We invited some other NGOs, but the best thing ever....


was....the makeshift slip n' slide! Totally great times!




let's see, to say that i'm ready for r&r is definitely an understatement. but alas, it is not coming for awhile. i think i'm just stuck in a funk. it happens sometimes, this i know. but it just usually doesn't last this long.

this week has just been one of those weeks. where i just want a break and one is far away in sight, every day this week has felt like a monday in that there has been a fire of some sort to put out every day, and to top it off, i don't even really like this country. these people are getting on my nerves.

so, today, on my final work day of the week, i went to go somewhat calm down a situation at one of our potential sites. i met with the committee and we solved the problem. i only had to wait about another 30 minutes, so i sat in this corner, under these huge beautiful mango trees. when one kid came up to me....then another. one kid, his name is Schnaeder (pronounced Snyder) started singing me a song- "we are happy that you have come. you have come. we are happy to see you". first in kreyol, then somewhat in broken english. i doubt that he knows that that song currently brings me to tears. As he and his friends in that community sang to me- little did we both know that that's what i needed to feel like this week wasn't worthless. hmm.....from the mouth of babes. maybe one day, i can be like schnaeder too. see, God used that boy to wink at me. What's a God wink you ask?

it's a moment where God "winks" at you, because He says, "you know what Patty? I got you. I see you. I hear you. I have you. I'm still here...right next to you".

"Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of Heaven"- Matt 18:4

i'm alive!

wow. I can't believe it's been 3 months since i've updated...blogger didn't even recognize me. it's also hard to believe that i have been in haiti for almost 5 months next week. so much has happened. in shelter, as a whole, we've gotten over 2,300 shelters up. 2300 families out of the rain. to be honest, it's had it's good days and it's rough days. working with the community is a blessing, but then it's equally difficult.

haitians are different from africans. extremely different. haiti is close to the states and thus have always had support come in country...and quite easily too. this is where it's difficult being a development worker. you see the people who come over for one week or two meaning well, but then haiti becomes the example of what happens when you have people who aren't development minded staying longer term.

so, the result is having beneficiaries who expect things to be handed to them. it's difficult to explain to them why we're trying to get them to dig their own latrines or to clear their own houses- cause other people have done it for them in the past. and because they receive so much, in relation to Africans, they just want more and more and more- just because that mentality is all they've ever known.

that's probably been the biggest challenge, but i'm definitely learning a lot and i'm surrounded by some really great people who are incredibly patient with me as they not only work alongside me but also live with me. going through frustrations and successes together as well.

well, next time i'll include some pictures, but alas, i am still alive. no worries.

til next time (which hopefully won't be as long).

patty

All of the Above

Happy Good Friday everyone. Oh, how awesome to celebrate Easter in Haiti. Let's see...it's been quite a while. A week I suppose. I've moved my assessment project to Leogane (the actual epicenter of the earthquake) which is about a 40 minute drive everyday. I have a new team there that I really enjoy working with. The trip there makes a longer day, but it's totally worth it. Just being in Leogane, about 2 1/2 hours west of PAP, makes me feel like I'm doing something. I would say that out of 10 buildings, only half of one still stands. I would say in Leogane, most of the buildings look like this:



okay, so honestly, i started the beginning of my blog on Good Friday, about 10 days ago. Man, a lot has happened since then. So, yes, I have moved my team to Leogane, i like it there. i like getting to know the people in the community of Leogane too. Leogane is the voodoo capital of Haiti, interestingly enough.

my roommate jordanne and i went to go visit a site in Leogane where we could distribute tarp. while talking with the pastor, he began to tell us a story. a story of a girl named cynthia... she's 20 years old and her dad was a man very high up in voodoo. he nominated her to be a queen in voodoo which is extremely high up there. he married her off to a spirit in the form of a snake-which you can only imagine what happens there. I can't even repeat everything that he told me that happened. Turns out, January 12th, she was supposed to get something input into her arm that would transfer her to the spiritual world. She didn't want to get this done. and on the 12th of January, the earthquake happened. The next day, she became a Christian. since then, she's been tormented by these spirits that her father has sent. More things happened that I can't explain, but Jordanne and I definitely had our hearts go out to her from hearing her story. After we get things set for tarp distribution, on our way out, Pastor pulls back this tarp and we see 3 ladies sitting on the floor. One of these ladies, is Cynthia herself. She's shy and quiet. And then Jordanne and I both have the opportunity to pray for her as she's continually attacked by these spirits. Wow. What an amazing opportunity it was. Definitely top of my list of coolest things i've had the opportunity to be a part of.

Last week was probably the most hectic i've ever had. I was covering for finance for a couple of days as our finance guy was on r&r, doing office stuff-as our office manager left and we won't get a new one til tomorrow, along with attempting to still do my assessments. it got a little busy, i'll admit. but, one of the coolest things i got to do was see the Cash For Work when we went to do payroll for them. can you imagine trying to come up with a way to pay 490 people on the same day? without a bank? yeah, it was a little crazy, but it worked. my good friend andrew is the project coordinator for CFW and so i got to go with him up to the mountains to pay those in the mountains. Those who worked in the mountains made a car road out of a goat path on the side of a mountain. It was amazing to be the first to drive down these roads they made! And to see how hard they worked. They work overtime even though they are only paid for certain hours. i can't even put into words how awesome this road was! pics to come in the future. Also, to see the older people when we gave them payroll. Such a beautiful moment. They would come forward when we called their names, with their backs bent from years of hard work, and just smile and say thank you-over and over again.

On the way back too, Andrew and I saw the most beautiful sunset i've ever seen in my life. Andrew literally pulled the truck over and said, let's just absorb this sunset". Neither one of us had our cameras, unfortunately, but it was perfect. We sat and stared in silence for a while- i was trying to burn the image in my mind forever. A background of the sun setting behind the mountain and above the ocean. Absolute perfection. It was definitely a God wink moment. Where it was as though God just showed who He is. Perfection. Utter Beauty. Anything awesome that I could ever possibly say- He is All of the Above.

please remember to pray for Cynthia and for Haiti and for SP if possible!!! it would be much appreciated!!

love,
Patty