Thanks again Haiti

Good rainy morning all,

Surprise! I'm back from Haiti. I actually think most of you didn't even know that I went to Haiti. I wasn't that adamant about it. I had the feeling as though I did my time in Haiti, I mean I was there for a year and 2 months! Isn't that enough? I had this feeling that the opportunity would come. I had said I would never go back to Somaliland, yet I did 2 months later....I had said I'd never go back to Haiti, so I knew that the opportunity would of course present itself and would I take it?

Yep. I can do this, it's only short term anyway. Even if I have to grudgingly make my way through it, I will show myself that I can do this!

After my first week, I realised....I actually really like it here. We were working in the mountains of Cote de Fers, Haiti. The views from the mountains everyday, was majesty in itself. I really enjoyed the project I worked on as well: helping the victims of Hurricane Sandy and Isaac to fill in the food gap that was lost. Beneficiaries build roads and dams for cash for work to fill that gap.

I also started reading the book 1000 gifts when I was in Haiti and what a better time to start to count the things that bring me joy: those avenues that God shows his love for me.

From watching light from oil lamps (as we didn't have electricity) to seeing the beauty of creativity flow from the lack thereof electricity, sweet kisses from toddlers on the way to work, laughing with staff-even though you're speaking two different languages,talks with old friends, unexpected friendships....unexpected joy.

Haiti, thanks for the good memories and for reminding me (although I have learned this lesson before) that there is beauty everywhere...and I was privileged enough to see it again. Thanks to my team too- what good times we had- and you dealt so well with my crazy ideas! Aren't we a handsome bunch?





Next, I will write you from Lebanon (if I can remember to blog!). This is probably the most excited I have ever been.

Until Beirut with love,
Patty

Maybe Redemption has stories to tell

Hey ya. I am quite aware that I SHOULD have written this post about 2 months ago, but supposedly, it’s better late than never, right?

Well, I am back in Somaliland. SURPRISE! Trust me, it was as much of a surprise to me than anyone else, I’m sure. So, I came back 2 months ago, and my short term contract is actually close to being finished (hence why this post is so far behind). You know when I agreed to come back, I must admit that shortly after, I couldn’t figure out why I did that. My first experience was one of those where I was glad it happened and I learned a lot that made me a better person, but why in the world would I come back? And so soon? When I left, I left thinking I would probably never come back, much less only 3 months later? I mean it took me an entire month and a half to recover emotionally and mentally the last time. What was I thinking?

Yet, other things that I believed should have worked out were not. I felt this sense of responsibility to come back and do what I can to fill in. In the quick time I before I left, I felt this strange peace about it all.

There was one overwhelming thought that I couldn’t shake…”Maybe Redemption has stories to tell”.

…The more I thought about it, the more this thought intrigued me….because I love stories. One reason I love my job so much is because I get to hear people’s stories from all over the world. I wrote about this idea when I was in Darfur: the fact that stories change you. There’s a saying that says, “you can’t hate someone whose story you know”. And it’s true. It’s in knowing different stories that changes everything; because the people on TV are no longer statistics, they are friends and colleagues that have names.
And a name with that story …changes everything.

The memories flood my mind of being fortunate enough to hear the stories of those in Los Angeles,Botswana, Liberia, Haiti, Sudan and Somaliland.

Coming back has really been a great experience. Even though I’m back in the same country- I notice more beauty than I did before. ..and that’s always worth it.

So…maybe Redemption DOES have stories to tell.

May we all be fortunate enough to hear them.

Until next time (which won’t be so long),
Patty

Looking out over Las Gaal

Goodbye Somaliland...

Well, I attempted to spend my last Friday in Caynabo, Somaliland packing...That hasn't exactly gone very well. I feel like I just have thrown everything where I can see it, attempting to convince myself that I don't have as much stuff as I think I do.

As the thought of leaving slowly sets in, I reflect on the past year and what a crazy ride it has been. A year ago, I was at headquarters of a new organization, after leaving another one that I had come to know so well for almost 2 years. I can still remember the nervousness I felt, of "is this the right decision? what if these people don't like me?" Over the past year, I have just been reminded that it was the best decision for me at the time. I am in love with Medair. What a great organization to work for. I truly believe that. It's just so funny to think that when I first started in humanitarian aid work in 2008, I told myself I would go anywhere EXCEPT Darfur and Somalia. I mean, I like helping people and alleviating poverty, but I'm not crazy.

Or so I thought. This past year, I found myself in those exact places and oddly enough, I know that I was supposed to be there at those times. The peace that came over me knowing I was supposed to be there.

As I already wrote my goodbye to Darfur, this post will be my goodbye to Somaliland.

Well, Somaliland, it has been a crazy 9 months. Setting up new bases, emergency response projects, watching the many people that have come and left....I leave you Somaliland, absolutely exhausted in every way possible. I hope that if anything, that just means that I gave you as much as I could...I (in that natural aid worker feeling) feel as though I didn't give enough sometimes, that there is still so much to do. I guess this is where final reporting has helped me to have a better grip on what has actually been done.

Over 17,500 people now have improved access to water availability by having rehabilitated berkads or wells....Over 44,000 people have received hygiene messages....1500 Households have access to clean water by ceramic filters....Water trucked 839,000 liters of water to drought stricken villages before the rains, 1865 families have received shelter materials...all in 9 months.

Usually when I talk about that, I'm automatically reminded of how many times the shelter materials were delayed 3 times, and how we didn't have room in the warehouse for the filters, and how many people got in fights over water trucking. But as of now, I don't. It is what it is.

This past 9 months has been full of frustrations, and hurts, and some good times thrown in there too. I can tell that I've definitely grown as a manager and as a person. One thing I appreciate about the field (sometimes) is that it gives you an extreme sense of self awareness. Being under constant pressure all of the time, it is easy to see who you really are and what you are made of. I think it was CS Lewis that said something along the lines of "you can tell who a man really is when he is caught by surprise" ok...i don't have my current copy of Mere Christianity, so that is a very loose paraphrase....but it's true. And there have been moments that have caused me to stop and think...why did you say that? or why did you do that?

Somaliland, I feel that it was a privilege to be here. To see the normal people that you don't hear about on the television. To hear the stories of hope, of sorrow, of joy and laughter from a piece of land that many people have deemed for decades as hopeless. Somaliland, I hope that when you think of me, you see someone that gave you everything she could for you.

Well, soon I will have much time to reflect and think about it. I am really excited and nervous about going home. After living overseas for 2.5 years straight, I think there is always a time to come home. Even though none of it will really be familiar, "everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons". (Donald Miller: Through Painted Deserts).

Here's to finding new reasons,

Until next time,
Patty

water trucking, and oh, right. i'm leaving soon.

Happy May everyone! What a busy month it has been. Maybe even longer than a month. I seriously cannot remember the last time I blogged! Which is sad. Kind of. The biggest news in the past six weeks is that we have been doing water trucking here. (that statement is almost always followed by me saying how much I hate water trucking).


I guess from an outside perspective, it's difficult to see why woul dpeople NOT like water trucking? It's sexy! It's lifesaving! That's what people like to see on TV. But it's not sustainable. At the same time, you have to keep that in mind that if I don't do anything, people are going to die. However, in Somaliland, where there is recurrent drought and there isn't rain anywhere: the need and requests were just overwhelming.

Now that it's over and the rains have come though, I won't bore you with the tears and frustration water trucking naturally brings just because it exists, but we should focus on the positive parts of it. So, 1. thanks Ed Nash for taking all of these pictures of water trucking! Below, there are 4 trucks that have started pumping, along with us and lots of commotion (we tend to bring commotion wherever we go).

From the water trucks, the water is pumped into a berkad (a huge water reservoir where everyone gets water from the rain, as you can see below.

And of course I have to look semi-official :). Although I think I look more upset. But hey, that's apparently what I look like nowadays...

Surprisingly water trucking has gone well. Not too many fights or diasasters. All have had the ability to
be controlled, which is a miracle in and of itself. I think it's through providing when the need is so great that does something to you. To your heart and shakes your soul. Even though we were able to respond, you still wonder whether or not you have made the right decision. I wonder what will happen to these kids that I see in 3 or 4 years.

Or...maybe I'm just thinking too much. I am nearing the end of my contract....Those moments always cause me to be more reflective. I have started to tell people I'm leaving...and it's never easy. Although this past week I've tended to end my conversations, with "oh, by the way, I'm leaving soon". I've left many a country programme now after X months/years and I think I'm happy to report that it's not easy. I think it would be more difficult for me to accept if was wherever I was for a period of time and didn't care about the people or the place. Maybe it's a sign that you DID give everything you had while you were here...just maybe. The idea of going home is actually frightening to me...especially when you only go home for 2 to 3 weeks at a time for 2 1/2 years. It's strange that I'm as nervous going home as most people would be about starting a job in a foreign country. But I think it's times like theis that I can learn a lesson from the very subject I manage.

Water is fluid. If you watch it, when it flows, it goes around all of the cracks and seeps into the places where nothing solid could ever get through. It can become steam, ice, and regular water. It is the source of life.
Essentially, it adapts to whatever it needs to be. In my last weeks here and in what is to come, I want to be like water. "Wherever you are, be all there (especially in your last weeks)" I forget who said that: but I added the little amendment (if you couldn't tell). Since I have time for one more post before I leave, I'll save the sappy stuff for later.

Happy day all,

Patty

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy February all.

Wow. It just seems like this year is flying by, maybe a bit faster than last year did. Is it universal? Or is it just me? Well, the month of February has turned into the month of distributions. I feel like I have them coming out of my ears. However, I do prefer the other term we use for distributions, “making it rain”. I do believe I got this from the Van Der Merwe’s during our distributions in Haiti- whenever we would do distributions- we’d go to “make it rain”.
I’ve done many a distribution. That’s something I’m quite comfortable with, I feel like I can manuever people through one with my eyes closed. Especially going through the tough ones where people are screaming at you and threatening you, I now find them easier and enjoyable.


The past weeks we have done 2 ceramic filter distributions. I think this is one of my favourite distributions. Tangible, easy, yet HUGE impact. The first time we distributed, I explained how it worked, and then asked if there were any questions and one lady said, “yes....how do you use the faucet you have been talking about?”. Oh right....this is a good question if you’re never seen a tap. So I simply answered....”well, you can push it up...or down....” and then my voice trailed off....seriously...how do you explain how a tap works?

Over the many many distributions I’ve coordinated, I usually find myself making sure the stuff isn’t getting stolen, or making sure the porters are alright- doing what they should be, making sure the beneficiary cards match the actually person- etc. Needless to say, there’s a LOT to look at and a lot going on during a distribution. But this last time, we did a ceramic filter distribution and after I went through the process of teaching safe water and explaining how it works, I took time to really look at the BENEFICIARIES themselves. And I watched how they came up when we called their names....and watched as they pulled out their card from plastic bags, or something wrapped in layers and layers of paper. They took care of this card more than I think I take care of my phone or my computer. As I watched person after person pull out their card, I was humbled by this small thing act that I found so beautiful. My eyes definitely got watery as I was trying to play it off that dust was in my eyes.

After the distribution was finished they asked me about other services that we could possibly provide. After we talked, I came back and just cried. No, I don’t think I’m going crazy yet. But I think there comes moments, when in the busy-ness of everything, you take time to see the need that is there and how big it is, and how what you’re doing is maybe one drop of rain in the desert (after living here, you realise how small that really is).


So, after a couple of minutes, I quit feeling sorry for myself because it was depressing me and came across Psalm 145. Verse 14: He helps the fallen and lifts those bent beneath their loads. For me, at that moment- what I saw at the distribution and this verse went together. I could see it! Isn’t that beautiful? And I thought....is it possible that He picked me, to be here, to tangibly do the same thing? That he picks all of us....to do....the same....thing?


When you think about it, it’s quite humbling that He would trust us to do what we can for the betterment of someone else. So, in my head at least, it all came together in this February, this month known for Love. Of course, I naturally think of the negative, of all the times overseas and even at home, when I haven’t been Love or shown anything CLOSE to Love! Of moments lost...will I ever be able to make up for that? I think of all the times that instead of helping the fallen, I’ve walked by them when they are down. Instead of being sensitive to those who are bent beneath their loads, I’ve possibly added to it by not taking that moment to be encouraging or even going slightly out of my way to make their day better. Even though it's easy to dwell on that, today is a new day.


So this Valentine’s Day, I’m really grateful for Love .....and Grace. For 2nd chances and 57th chances, and 1000th chances. That even though there is a 100% chance I'm going to mess up tomorrow and not have patience or grace or love like I want to, that there's enough Grace for tomorrow and Monday, and Tuesday to slowly become a better person.

And for the Valentine’s reminder.... that:

All of us are chosen.

Happy Valentine’s Day,
Patty

Blind to the Beautiful

Happy new Year everyone!

Here's to wishing you a Happy and amazing 2012. I have a feeling there's going to be something awesome about this year- maybe it's the end of the world, maybe not- but either way, it's started off quit busy.

I just got back from spending quit a bit of time in the field. I kind of have this love/hate relationship with the field. I love it- but I don't like the process of getting to there. It's mostly bad roads long hours- and not exactly conducive if you're a girl and have to go to the bathroom. So, before we left there was just so much going on, causing us to leave late. So, here we are on this 7 hour drive to the middle of no-where.


We get there and I'm a bit motion-sick. But I saw mountains for the first time in Somaliland. Like somewhat proper mountains!

Ok. It might not look like much, but it was really beautiful and cool! I even had to use my little zip up hoodie- which is a great feeling- so different from the typical day of sweating so much. So we sleep and wake up the next morning to do an assessment while the nutrition team did a distribution.

One of the elders was showing me around and said- oh, well, the other wells that we go to are way over there- by that mountain. But it's so far. And I said, "oh, well. can the car go there?" and they responded, "no. there's no road". "Oh." I replied. "I guess that means we walk!". So we started walking. After the typical cordial chat, it was pretty silent. All I could hear was our feet hitting the dirt as we continued to walk. My focus on the lack of sounds was interrupted by the elder saying "you walk fast!".

I see all the things that I need to see and we start walking back. My thoughts drift back to days in Liberia when we walked like 18 hours to do assessments in such a rural community. That was the first time in my life I thought that my feet were bleeding from walking so much. And I remembered that walk. And I remembered Johnny- one of our WASH guys- singing "I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter His courts with Praise. I will say this is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice for He has made me glad." I think because of that trip- that song remains one of my favourites today. As we walked back, I started humming that tune as a smile came across my face of good memories.

I stayed awhile, and took some tea. I really like this place. I still do. I came back and found this quote that I had written on an index card a while ago from a church I went to when living in California....." We can learn to appreciate anything- good or bad. We can be trained to appreciate the mundane and to be blind to the beautiful". (Erwin M). I took that card and put it up on my wall.

Of all the things I've seen, do I forget to look for the beautiful? Do I literally see glimpses of beauty everyday and have just become blind to it? I looked back through the pictures I took during the field trip, of so many berkads and wells and there was one i took of this little boy. We were playing hide and seek. (well, the guards tend to not let children or anyone else, for that matter, close to me so we did the best we could). So I took this picture when he wasn't looking:

This child, is one definition of all that is beautiful.

So, as another year begins, may we all be aware of the beauty around us. Whether that beauty is in the cold, the rain, or even the desert....May we appreciate the good. Even if the good we do may be forgotten. May we train ourselves this year to find beauty all around us....because maybe....the beauty's been there all along.


Until next time,
Patty

Christmas is always worth it

Merry Christmas- a day late. But since we should celebrate Christmas in a way every day- I guess it's alright that I am a day late.

I feel as though if you own a blog, it's almost obligatory to write a Christmas blog. Just like you are obligated to write a blog for, I don't know what else....Columbus Day? It's just a rule. You can't break it. Thus, here is my Christmas blog of my trip back.

I was so happy that I was able to come home for Christmas. Although my first plane out of Somaliland was not the best experience, in fact, I think it was the worst plane experience I've ever had. I'd prefer to not re-live it, so we'll just forget about it.

I had a great flight to Amsterdam-as I think I passed out the entire way. We also spent some time walking around Amsterdam and that was really cool. It was quiet and it hadn't woken up yet, but it was nice to enjoy the quiet and to imagine what life is like after the sun rises.

My flight from Amsterdam left quite late because there was some ice on the plane. It's amazing how you don't really notice things like flight times until you are running late. We land and I look at my ticket and it's past the boarding time. I get off the plane and book it through immigration and it seems as though I'm waiting forever for my bag.

I once again run to some counter- because my bag was originally just checked through to Detroit (where I currently was) but then I still had 2 more flights to go! I talk with the lady to see if she can finish checking it, and the luggage check for that plane closed 2 minutes before she had typed it in. We were deciding whether or not to book it on the next flight- when I realised that I am seriously about to miss my flight. The guy at the next counter felt some pity for me and just said- "Do you have liquids in your bag? You bag is quite small". So, I did what any one else would do. I dumped all of the liquids out of my bag and ran with my bag. I guess if I was hard core I would have just left my bag entirely- which I did think about- but then I had a selfish moment, it's my K-way bag that I've had for 5 years! I couldn't completely leave it behind.

I then met the sweetest lady- who realised that I was going to miss my flight and helped me get through security and I managed to board about 2 minutes before they closed the door to the plane.

On my last flight home- I was sitting next to a lady who said, "wow. You have traveled a long way". My first thought and response was, "Christmas is always worth it".


And I still think it's true.

Happy Christmas,
P