Happy Valentine's Day

Happy February all.

Wow. It just seems like this year is flying by, maybe a bit faster than last year did. Is it universal? Or is it just me? Well, the month of February has turned into the month of distributions. I feel like I have them coming out of my ears. However, I do prefer the other term we use for distributions, “making it rain”. I do believe I got this from the Van Der Merwe’s during our distributions in Haiti- whenever we would do distributions- we’d go to “make it rain”.
I’ve done many a distribution. That’s something I’m quite comfortable with, I feel like I can manuever people through one with my eyes closed. Especially going through the tough ones where people are screaming at you and threatening you, I now find them easier and enjoyable.


The past weeks we have done 2 ceramic filter distributions. I think this is one of my favourite distributions. Tangible, easy, yet HUGE impact. The first time we distributed, I explained how it worked, and then asked if there were any questions and one lady said, “yes....how do you use the faucet you have been talking about?”. Oh right....this is a good question if you’re never seen a tap. So I simply answered....”well, you can push it up...or down....” and then my voice trailed off....seriously...how do you explain how a tap works?

Over the many many distributions I’ve coordinated, I usually find myself making sure the stuff isn’t getting stolen, or making sure the porters are alright- doing what they should be, making sure the beneficiary cards match the actually person- etc. Needless to say, there’s a LOT to look at and a lot going on during a distribution. But this last time, we did a ceramic filter distribution and after I went through the process of teaching safe water and explaining how it works, I took time to really look at the BENEFICIARIES themselves. And I watched how they came up when we called their names....and watched as they pulled out their card from plastic bags, or something wrapped in layers and layers of paper. They took care of this card more than I think I take care of my phone or my computer. As I watched person after person pull out their card, I was humbled by this small thing act that I found so beautiful. My eyes definitely got watery as I was trying to play it off that dust was in my eyes.

After the distribution was finished they asked me about other services that we could possibly provide. After we talked, I came back and just cried. No, I don’t think I’m going crazy yet. But I think there comes moments, when in the busy-ness of everything, you take time to see the need that is there and how big it is, and how what you’re doing is maybe one drop of rain in the desert (after living here, you realise how small that really is).


So, after a couple of minutes, I quit feeling sorry for myself because it was depressing me and came across Psalm 145. Verse 14: He helps the fallen and lifts those bent beneath their loads. For me, at that moment- what I saw at the distribution and this verse went together. I could see it! Isn’t that beautiful? And I thought....is it possible that He picked me, to be here, to tangibly do the same thing? That he picks all of us....to do....the same....thing?


When you think about it, it’s quite humbling that He would trust us to do what we can for the betterment of someone else. So, in my head at least, it all came together in this February, this month known for Love. Of course, I naturally think of the negative, of all the times overseas and even at home, when I haven’t been Love or shown anything CLOSE to Love! Of moments lost...will I ever be able to make up for that? I think of all the times that instead of helping the fallen, I’ve walked by them when they are down. Instead of being sensitive to those who are bent beneath their loads, I’ve possibly added to it by not taking that moment to be encouraging or even going slightly out of my way to make their day better. Even though it's easy to dwell on that, today is a new day.


So this Valentine’s Day, I’m really grateful for Love .....and Grace. For 2nd chances and 57th chances, and 1000th chances. That even though there is a 100% chance I'm going to mess up tomorrow and not have patience or grace or love like I want to, that there's enough Grace for tomorrow and Monday, and Tuesday to slowly become a better person.

And for the Valentine’s reminder.... that:

All of us are chosen.

Happy Valentine’s Day,
Patty

Blind to the Beautiful

Happy new Year everyone!

Here's to wishing you a Happy and amazing 2012. I have a feeling there's going to be something awesome about this year- maybe it's the end of the world, maybe not- but either way, it's started off quit busy.

I just got back from spending quit a bit of time in the field. I kind of have this love/hate relationship with the field. I love it- but I don't like the process of getting to there. It's mostly bad roads long hours- and not exactly conducive if you're a girl and have to go to the bathroom. So, before we left there was just so much going on, causing us to leave late. So, here we are on this 7 hour drive to the middle of no-where.


We get there and I'm a bit motion-sick. But I saw mountains for the first time in Somaliland. Like somewhat proper mountains!

Ok. It might not look like much, but it was really beautiful and cool! I even had to use my little zip up hoodie- which is a great feeling- so different from the typical day of sweating so much. So we sleep and wake up the next morning to do an assessment while the nutrition team did a distribution.

One of the elders was showing me around and said- oh, well, the other wells that we go to are way over there- by that mountain. But it's so far. And I said, "oh, well. can the car go there?" and they responded, "no. there's no road". "Oh." I replied. "I guess that means we walk!". So we started walking. After the typical cordial chat, it was pretty silent. All I could hear was our feet hitting the dirt as we continued to walk. My focus on the lack of sounds was interrupted by the elder saying "you walk fast!".

I see all the things that I need to see and we start walking back. My thoughts drift back to days in Liberia when we walked like 18 hours to do assessments in such a rural community. That was the first time in my life I thought that my feet were bleeding from walking so much. And I remembered that walk. And I remembered Johnny- one of our WASH guys- singing "I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart, I will enter His courts with Praise. I will say this is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice for He has made me glad." I think because of that trip- that song remains one of my favourites today. As we walked back, I started humming that tune as a smile came across my face of good memories.

I stayed awhile, and took some tea. I really like this place. I still do. I came back and found this quote that I had written on an index card a while ago from a church I went to when living in California....." We can learn to appreciate anything- good or bad. We can be trained to appreciate the mundane and to be blind to the beautiful". (Erwin M). I took that card and put it up on my wall.

Of all the things I've seen, do I forget to look for the beautiful? Do I literally see glimpses of beauty everyday and have just become blind to it? I looked back through the pictures I took during the field trip, of so many berkads and wells and there was one i took of this little boy. We were playing hide and seek. (well, the guards tend to not let children or anyone else, for that matter, close to me so we did the best we could). So I took this picture when he wasn't looking:

This child, is one definition of all that is beautiful.

So, as another year begins, may we all be aware of the beauty around us. Whether that beauty is in the cold, the rain, or even the desert....May we appreciate the good. Even if the good we do may be forgotten. May we train ourselves this year to find beauty all around us....because maybe....the beauty's been there all along.


Until next time,
Patty

Christmas is always worth it

Merry Christmas- a day late. But since we should celebrate Christmas in a way every day- I guess it's alright that I am a day late.

I feel as though if you own a blog, it's almost obligatory to write a Christmas blog. Just like you are obligated to write a blog for, I don't know what else....Columbus Day? It's just a rule. You can't break it. Thus, here is my Christmas blog of my trip back.

I was so happy that I was able to come home for Christmas. Although my first plane out of Somaliland was not the best experience, in fact, I think it was the worst plane experience I've ever had. I'd prefer to not re-live it, so we'll just forget about it.

I had a great flight to Amsterdam-as I think I passed out the entire way. We also spent some time walking around Amsterdam and that was really cool. It was quiet and it hadn't woken up yet, but it was nice to enjoy the quiet and to imagine what life is like after the sun rises.

My flight from Amsterdam left quite late because there was some ice on the plane. It's amazing how you don't really notice things like flight times until you are running late. We land and I look at my ticket and it's past the boarding time. I get off the plane and book it through immigration and it seems as though I'm waiting forever for my bag.

I once again run to some counter- because my bag was originally just checked through to Detroit (where I currently was) but then I still had 2 more flights to go! I talk with the lady to see if she can finish checking it, and the luggage check for that plane closed 2 minutes before she had typed it in. We were deciding whether or not to book it on the next flight- when I realised that I am seriously about to miss my flight. The guy at the next counter felt some pity for me and just said- "Do you have liquids in your bag? You bag is quite small". So, I did what any one else would do. I dumped all of the liquids out of my bag and ran with my bag. I guess if I was hard core I would have just left my bag entirely- which I did think about- but then I had a selfish moment, it's my K-way bag that I've had for 5 years! I couldn't completely leave it behind.

I then met the sweetest lady- who realised that I was going to miss my flight and helped me get through security and I managed to board about 2 minutes before they closed the door to the plane.

On my last flight home- I was sitting next to a lady who said, "wow. You have traveled a long way". My first thought and response was, "Christmas is always worth it".


And I still think it's true.

Happy Christmas,
P

Question.....Answer....

Happy Eid everybody! So, today is Eid, which is the Islamic holiday that celebrates the sacrifice of Abraham's son (Ismail in this case). I am so thankful for some time off! We went to the beach on Friday- even though we had to swim in clothes- we got to play volleyball in the water. It almost felt completely normal. We also had a "bar-b-que" today. We grilled some goat steaks and everyone cooked something. It was like Thanksgiving! (too bad James and I were the only ones that know what that feeling is like). I truly feel like Eid was a "God wink" to me to help me make it a few more weeks!! Love those moments. Oh, plus, I got a camel sculpture for Eid. It was so sweet, because in one of our villages, they claim that my camel is still waiting for me there. Although I'm not fully sure as to the stipulations of me getting that camel.....you always have to watch out for things like that. Instead of my real camel, I got a sculpture camel. It really made my day.

To make a point quickly, because I honestly don't know how much longer I can truly focus, I had an eye opening conversation with one of our national staff last week. It turns out that he is Somali-Kenyan. Who would have thought? I didn't even know until he came up to our Kenyan staff talking in Swahili. I just stared at him, saying, "What? Since when do you speak Swahili?" and he said, "well, I am Somali-Kenyan". And I said, "what other secrets are you keeping that i don't know?" And he said something really simple, and yet something that I hope I will remember forever....he just said, "you didn't ask".

I must admit, I've used that line a lot before. I mean, I'm not one for full self-disclosure, but for some reason, that simple sentence sent my mind reeling. All I could think of, was, how many people's lives and stories have I missed out on because I just didn't ask? How many people have I passed by, that just want me to ask? And when I looked at him after he said that, I felt terrible. Here is someone that I see every day, and in that moment, he possibly saw it as me not caring enough to ask.

It's these moments where I kind of have a swift kick in the pants. That relief and development are about PEOPLE and not projects. Projects are indeed a way to improve people's lives, but it was that moment as a reminder to not lose sight of the fact that it's about people.

It was a good reminder that I will never hear too many stories, talk to too many people, or even ask too many questions.

Why is it always the simple things that I need to be reminded of constantly? I guess it's the journey of learning to have grace with others....and ourselves.

Learning along the way,

Patty

a billion stars

Hi peeps,

Let's see. I honestly have no idea where to start. I really should blog more, I just forget, or then I'm too tired and then forget, or I remember but just don't know which stories to pick and choose to write. I've spent quite a bit of time in the field recently. I usually love being in the field. They are full of random, weird, fun, educational moments. So, the past weeks, we have been looking for berkards (water reservoirs) to rehabilitate. They look like this when they don't work anymore.

They should hold water for several months- but due to shifting in the earth and sometimes just a bad construction job as well, they get cracks and do not hold water for any time anymore. Our priority is to find those communities that are truly in need and maybe have less berkards and are thus suffering more because their berkards aren't working. The idea of berkards is actually very interesting. They are only found in Somalia/Somaliland from what I have been told and since the rains are so sparse, it's a good way to keep water.

We are also rehabilitating shallow wells, but I'm pretty sure that everyone knows what a shallow well looks like (if not, imagine a hole with sitcks on top of it). - yeah that was random.

The past couple of weeks has been full of field days and overnights in the middle of well, no where that I know! We go to villages and I'm always amazed at how accepting they are. We've done lots of travelling recently, looking. There is always advice of where to go and for what reasons from different people. Also, we are covering 2 regions, which covers quite a bit of space! Especially because many villages are so far apart! Last week, we went to one place that easily became one of my favourite places. They gave me my first taste of camel's milk.

This was me saying, "I really hope this doesn't make me sick". And it didn't! It was actually quite good. Just thick. And definitely not pasteurized. I am always surprised by how welcoming communities in the field (usually) are. (yeah, you have those one or two that just make you want to hit something). They see so many people come, assess and most of the time- probably don't come back or do anything. They still welcome you with, as they often say, "open hearts". Yet, even though I know they most likely don't understand the whole "NGO process" of proposals or logframes or activites/outputs, budgets,it doesn't matter. For those two hours you are there. That's where you are. Playing with their babies (when I'm not making them cry), trying not to screw up on cultural differences, drinking their milk, tea, and getting sick off of their rice. It was a good several days in the field last week. It's quite funny because by 7 o clock, you feel like it's 10. There's nothing to do without electricity or internet. And it's just you, your headlamp, the guards chatting away outside (oh, and the driver who non-chalantly asks you to be his 2nd wife and when you turn him down- it's totally ok) and the stars. Let me tell you something, there's nothing like an African sky.

I think it's in those moments of talking with staff- laughing when you realise that although thousands of miles separate us, you have two different people on two different continents are both wishing on a shooting star- because that's just what you do. We understand that it's through asking questions that we come to understanding of a place that honestly, most people probably don't try to understand. A nice memory in your mind of when you find your similarities instead of differences. When looking up at pure Beauty, you're reminded of all that is Beautiful. Not just people, but also humanity, ideas, laughter, and friendship. Because just maybe, it's those days that get you through the days when it's more difficult to find the Beauty in things that seem to go wrong or badly. Maybe it's those moments, memories, thoughts, and times when you're reminded that "There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing" (Blue Like Jazz) for those moments when it doesn't seem so.

Goodnight all,
Patty

Somaliland...and a reminder of where it all started

I stepped off of the plane in Nairobi, somewhat groggy, as I didn’t sleep on my first flight, but glad that 25 hours of flying was over. I felt as though I had already been to Nairobi from all the other friends that I knew that had passed through there. When I landed, I took in the sights of Nairobi- (well, the dark sights of Nairobi as it was late). Before I came, I had realised that I usually compare where I am with where I have been. I guess it’s normal, because we as humans, or maybe it’s just me....(that could be highly probable), like to associate new things with what we know. I know that it gives me a sense of comfort. But, I also realised how much I am cutting things short. I can’t then enjoy things for what they really are- otherwise, it’s just a similar version of this other thing. So, based on C.S.Lewis, who said, “Blessed are they who do not have expectations for they shall not be disappointed”, I came. And Nairobi is quite beautiful. So, I had a couple of easier days in the office of reading information and getting ready to come to Somaliland. I also had a nice surprise. I was able to catch up with my friend, Dorette, from Haiti who also happened to be in Nairobi at the time. In the midst of so much newness, it was great to have someone familiar to just laugh and have a good time with.

So, as of now, I’m based out of Somaliland. Somaliland is an autonomous province (i think that’s the official term) in north western Somalia. The next day, early in the morning, I went to the airport to fly to Hargeysa. And then I mostly slept for the 5 hour drive after the flight. So my time here has been busy but good. I’ve only been here in Somaliland for 2 ½ week s, but I’m getting the hang of it all (or at least so I think so). I’m really excited about my project. It’s a WASH project working to fix the broken water sources that exist, distribute ceramic water filters and also promoting hygiene. Hygiene might not seem like much in the midst of a drought and famine. So many children under 5 die of diarrhoea. This number could be significantly reduced by handwashing with soap. You can find out more about bits of the different aspects under my WASH project at www.medair.org. Just look for the stories about the Somaliland/Somalia country program.

Somaliland is different from most countries in Africa, in that it’s quite ugly. There isn’t much here, except for some shrubs. My first time in the field to distribute water filters, there was one tree in a 2 mile radius or something crazy like that. The rocks in the riverbed are so white from no rain that it hurts your eyes to look directly at them because they are so bright. So, I spent 4 days in the bush. Oh, it brought me back to the days in Liberia....when I was a poor little intern drinking bad water and thus having the big D (diarrhoea) if you’re not up to speed with the terms, in the middle of the bush. We were building latrines then, so there wasn’t anywhere to go to the bathroom. There weren’t latrines here either, but luckily, I didn’t have diarrhoea. I had Immodium. . So, we went around with the nutrition team and while they did their thing, we looked at berkards (water reservoirs) and shallow wells that we could rehabilitate. The bush is one of my favourite places to be. Looking under the stars, without cell phone service, internet, electricity, or any other distraction that we have become so accustomed to. Although I have to admit, I did miss taking an actual shower. But I did hear some neat stories. So, there are hundreds of camels here (yes, I want five and even have hygiene names picked out for all of them!). When we were looking at shallow wells, there were camel herders there watering their camels. They would sing. I thought it was nice, but then my translator, Farrah told me that you HAVE to sing or the camels will not drink. That made me smile. Okay- that works for me. I’ll remember that when I have my pet camels- although I need to figure out how to put a $500 camel in my budget....

So, yes. Somaliland. It has already proven that it will be quite challenging, but exciting. I have a feeling I will learn a lot, I already have. Plus, this has been the job I’ve wanted since I started relief work. This is where I must have my personal shout out time. To Mrs. Beverly Kauffeldt.

Not only did you teach me that Beverly means the beavers meadow or something corny like that, but you were the reason I fell in love with WASH, well, back then it was still WATSAN. Your passion for WASH made me want to have that passion too, along with the grace you showed.....well, kind of showed me....when I made mistakes, like drinking bad water when I knew it was bad....(remember that conversation? I think it went something like this....Me: So, you can’t yell at me. Tell me you won’t yell at me. Bev: Okay. I won’t. Me: I drank bad water and now I’m really sick. Bev: WHAT? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Me: Um, I think you’re yelling. Bev: No, I’m just speaking very forcefully). You taught me how to help people without hurting them. The true meaning of being a relief worker. Of giving all that you have, even though rarely will you ever feel as though it is good enough. I have said it before, and I mean it again now. If it wasn’t for you and Bossman, your guidance and wisdom and teaching, I would have seriously missed out on awesome experiences and people in Haiti, Darfur, and Somaliland. Now, I find myself in the position of managing my own WASH project. You are no longer here to catch me when I fail, (as it is sure to happen). But I can look back on the steps that led me here, starting with Liberia. The confidence you had in me, I now have in myself... that maybe, just maybe, I won’t completely screw up. But most of all, you taught me that having a passion yourself, not only sparks passion in others, but it helps guide them along the way. Thanks for being there to guide me to where I am now. I am older now, and maybe I’ve learned a bit more.

As I was driving across the desert, a familiar tune played between my ears. Sung by a Somali- a man named K’naan whose country I now find myself. The tune simply said, “When I older, I will be stronger. They’ll call me Freedom, just like a wavin’ flag.” How appropriate.

Patty

Masalaama

Wow. The time has come for me to leave Darfur. I must say, it is harder to leave Darfur than it is to leave Haiti. I have not yet figured out why because I spent much more time in Haiti. (Maybe I will figure it out one day soon). Saying goodbye all of the time has always been emotionally draining, but this time, it has hit me harder. I must say, Darfur is one place that I judged the most before coming. Sure, I didn’t expect it to be like TV or the news, but I wasn’t expecting it to grasp my heart so.

When I was in Haiti praying and researching on where I felt like I should go next, I just had a feeling it would be somewhere influenced by Islam and probably more “unstable” than I have been in the past. I’ll be honest, when the e-mail of whether or not I was interested in my current job came up, I thought, “I’ll say okay, but I’m scared!” I guess I wasn’t expecting the job to actually come through, but it did and I’m so glad it did. I’ll admit that I was not happy with the fact that I was having work visa issues, I could not see how this was a part of the plan! But when I look at it now, it all makes sense (although that doesn’t make it any easier to leave). So it’s once again time to say “ma salaama” (bye).

Thank you to my fellow co-workers who even though I will not be working with you right now, you continue to inspire me. I will think of the advice given and the memories and laughs shared, as they will probably continue to make me laugh for a long time to come, along with how “proper” I now am thanks to all of you!

And to Sudan: thank you for showing me your suffering. Thank you for showing me the beauty of resilience and the power of forgiveness. Thank you for showing me the strength of faith and of love. Although I physically leave, I will not forget you. What I have seen and heard, has taken a part of my heart. I will continue to pray for your beautiful people, for continued hope and for peace.

Who knows, I can hope that one day I will be reunited with you, in some way, in the day when I am sure that other countries can look to you for THEIR hope and strength.

You have prepared me for the next step. Without you, I would not be prepared for it, of that I am sure. Although I gave all the best that I could, considering the circumstances, I wish I could have given you more.

Next step: Somaliland

Inshallah

-Patty