a billion stars

Hi peeps,

Let's see. I honestly have no idea where to start. I really should blog more, I just forget, or then I'm too tired and then forget, or I remember but just don't know which stories to pick and choose to write. I've spent quite a bit of time in the field recently. I usually love being in the field. They are full of random, weird, fun, educational moments. So, the past weeks, we have been looking for berkards (water reservoirs) to rehabilitate. They look like this when they don't work anymore.

They should hold water for several months- but due to shifting in the earth and sometimes just a bad construction job as well, they get cracks and do not hold water for any time anymore. Our priority is to find those communities that are truly in need and maybe have less berkards and are thus suffering more because their berkards aren't working. The idea of berkards is actually very interesting. They are only found in Somalia/Somaliland from what I have been told and since the rains are so sparse, it's a good way to keep water.

We are also rehabilitating shallow wells, but I'm pretty sure that everyone knows what a shallow well looks like (if not, imagine a hole with sitcks on top of it). - yeah that was random.

The past couple of weeks has been full of field days and overnights in the middle of well, no where that I know! We go to villages and I'm always amazed at how accepting they are. We've done lots of travelling recently, looking. There is always advice of where to go and for what reasons from different people. Also, we are covering 2 regions, which covers quite a bit of space! Especially because many villages are so far apart! Last week, we went to one place that easily became one of my favourite places. They gave me my first taste of camel's milk.

This was me saying, "I really hope this doesn't make me sick". And it didn't! It was actually quite good. Just thick. And definitely not pasteurized. I am always surprised by how welcoming communities in the field (usually) are. (yeah, you have those one or two that just make you want to hit something). They see so many people come, assess and most of the time- probably don't come back or do anything. They still welcome you with, as they often say, "open hearts". Yet, even though I know they most likely don't understand the whole "NGO process" of proposals or logframes or activites/outputs, budgets,it doesn't matter. For those two hours you are there. That's where you are. Playing with their babies (when I'm not making them cry), trying not to screw up on cultural differences, drinking their milk, tea, and getting sick off of their rice. It was a good several days in the field last week. It's quite funny because by 7 o clock, you feel like it's 10. There's nothing to do without electricity or internet. And it's just you, your headlamp, the guards chatting away outside (oh, and the driver who non-chalantly asks you to be his 2nd wife and when you turn him down- it's totally ok) and the stars. Let me tell you something, there's nothing like an African sky.

I think it's in those moments of talking with staff- laughing when you realise that although thousands of miles separate us, you have two different people on two different continents are both wishing on a shooting star- because that's just what you do. We understand that it's through asking questions that we come to understanding of a place that honestly, most people probably don't try to understand. A nice memory in your mind of when you find your similarities instead of differences. When looking up at pure Beauty, you're reminded of all that is Beautiful. Not just people, but also humanity, ideas, laughter, and friendship. Because just maybe, it's those days that get you through the days when it's more difficult to find the Beauty in things that seem to go wrong or badly. Maybe it's those moments, memories, thoughts, and times when you're reminded that "There is something beautiful about a billion stars held steady by a God who knows what He is doing" (Blue Like Jazz) for those moments when it doesn't seem so.

Goodnight all,
Patty

Somaliland...and a reminder of where it all started

I stepped off of the plane in Nairobi, somewhat groggy, as I didn’t sleep on my first flight, but glad that 25 hours of flying was over. I felt as though I had already been to Nairobi from all the other friends that I knew that had passed through there. When I landed, I took in the sights of Nairobi- (well, the dark sights of Nairobi as it was late). Before I came, I had realised that I usually compare where I am with where I have been. I guess it’s normal, because we as humans, or maybe it’s just me....(that could be highly probable), like to associate new things with what we know. I know that it gives me a sense of comfort. But, I also realised how much I am cutting things short. I can’t then enjoy things for what they really are- otherwise, it’s just a similar version of this other thing. So, based on C.S.Lewis, who said, “Blessed are they who do not have expectations for they shall not be disappointed”, I came. And Nairobi is quite beautiful. So, I had a couple of easier days in the office of reading information and getting ready to come to Somaliland. I also had a nice surprise. I was able to catch up with my friend, Dorette, from Haiti who also happened to be in Nairobi at the time. In the midst of so much newness, it was great to have someone familiar to just laugh and have a good time with.

So, as of now, I’m based out of Somaliland. Somaliland is an autonomous province (i think that’s the official term) in north western Somalia. The next day, early in the morning, I went to the airport to fly to Hargeysa. And then I mostly slept for the 5 hour drive after the flight. So my time here has been busy but good. I’ve only been here in Somaliland for 2 ½ week s, but I’m getting the hang of it all (or at least so I think so). I’m really excited about my project. It’s a WASH project working to fix the broken water sources that exist, distribute ceramic water filters and also promoting hygiene. Hygiene might not seem like much in the midst of a drought and famine. So many children under 5 die of diarrhoea. This number could be significantly reduced by handwashing with soap. You can find out more about bits of the different aspects under my WASH project at www.medair.org. Just look for the stories about the Somaliland/Somalia country program.

Somaliland is different from most countries in Africa, in that it’s quite ugly. There isn’t much here, except for some shrubs. My first time in the field to distribute water filters, there was one tree in a 2 mile radius or something crazy like that. The rocks in the riverbed are so white from no rain that it hurts your eyes to look directly at them because they are so bright. So, I spent 4 days in the bush. Oh, it brought me back to the days in Liberia....when I was a poor little intern drinking bad water and thus having the big D (diarrhoea) if you’re not up to speed with the terms, in the middle of the bush. We were building latrines then, so there wasn’t anywhere to go to the bathroom. There weren’t latrines here either, but luckily, I didn’t have diarrhoea. I had Immodium. . So, we went around with the nutrition team and while they did their thing, we looked at berkards (water reservoirs) and shallow wells that we could rehabilitate. The bush is one of my favourite places to be. Looking under the stars, without cell phone service, internet, electricity, or any other distraction that we have become so accustomed to. Although I have to admit, I did miss taking an actual shower. But I did hear some neat stories. So, there are hundreds of camels here (yes, I want five and even have hygiene names picked out for all of them!). When we were looking at shallow wells, there were camel herders there watering their camels. They would sing. I thought it was nice, but then my translator, Farrah told me that you HAVE to sing or the camels will not drink. That made me smile. Okay- that works for me. I’ll remember that when I have my pet camels- although I need to figure out how to put a $500 camel in my budget....

So, yes. Somaliland. It has already proven that it will be quite challenging, but exciting. I have a feeling I will learn a lot, I already have. Plus, this has been the job I’ve wanted since I started relief work. This is where I must have my personal shout out time. To Mrs. Beverly Kauffeldt.

Not only did you teach me that Beverly means the beavers meadow or something corny like that, but you were the reason I fell in love with WASH, well, back then it was still WATSAN. Your passion for WASH made me want to have that passion too, along with the grace you showed.....well, kind of showed me....when I made mistakes, like drinking bad water when I knew it was bad....(remember that conversation? I think it went something like this....Me: So, you can’t yell at me. Tell me you won’t yell at me. Bev: Okay. I won’t. Me: I drank bad water and now I’m really sick. Bev: WHAT? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Me: Um, I think you’re yelling. Bev: No, I’m just speaking very forcefully). You taught me how to help people without hurting them. The true meaning of being a relief worker. Of giving all that you have, even though rarely will you ever feel as though it is good enough. I have said it before, and I mean it again now. If it wasn’t for you and Bossman, your guidance and wisdom and teaching, I would have seriously missed out on awesome experiences and people in Haiti, Darfur, and Somaliland. Now, I find myself in the position of managing my own WASH project. You are no longer here to catch me when I fail, (as it is sure to happen). But I can look back on the steps that led me here, starting with Liberia. The confidence you had in me, I now have in myself... that maybe, just maybe, I won’t completely screw up. But most of all, you taught me that having a passion yourself, not only sparks passion in others, but it helps guide them along the way. Thanks for being there to guide me to where I am now. I am older now, and maybe I’ve learned a bit more.

As I was driving across the desert, a familiar tune played between my ears. Sung by a Somali- a man named K’naan whose country I now find myself. The tune simply said, “When I older, I will be stronger. They’ll call me Freedom, just like a wavin’ flag.” How appropriate.

Patty

Masalaama

Wow. The time has come for me to leave Darfur. I must say, it is harder to leave Darfur than it is to leave Haiti. I have not yet figured out why because I spent much more time in Haiti. (Maybe I will figure it out one day soon). Saying goodbye all of the time has always been emotionally draining, but this time, it has hit me harder. I must say, Darfur is one place that I judged the most before coming. Sure, I didn’t expect it to be like TV or the news, but I wasn’t expecting it to grasp my heart so.

When I was in Haiti praying and researching on where I felt like I should go next, I just had a feeling it would be somewhere influenced by Islam and probably more “unstable” than I have been in the past. I’ll be honest, when the e-mail of whether or not I was interested in my current job came up, I thought, “I’ll say okay, but I’m scared!” I guess I wasn’t expecting the job to actually come through, but it did and I’m so glad it did. I’ll admit that I was not happy with the fact that I was having work visa issues, I could not see how this was a part of the plan! But when I look at it now, it all makes sense (although that doesn’t make it any easier to leave). So it’s once again time to say “ma salaama” (bye).

Thank you to my fellow co-workers who even though I will not be working with you right now, you continue to inspire me. I will think of the advice given and the memories and laughs shared, as they will probably continue to make me laugh for a long time to come, along with how “proper” I now am thanks to all of you!

And to Sudan: thank you for showing me your suffering. Thank you for showing me the beauty of resilience and the power of forgiveness. Thank you for showing me the strength of faith and of love. Although I physically leave, I will not forget you. What I have seen and heard, has taken a part of my heart. I will continue to pray for your beautiful people, for continued hope and for peace.

Who knows, I can hope that one day I will be reunited with you, in some way, in the day when I am sure that other countries can look to you for THEIR hope and strength.

You have prepared me for the next step. Without you, I would not be prepared for it, of that I am sure. Although I gave all the best that I could, considering the circumstances, I wish I could have given you more.

Next step: Somaliland

Inshallah

-Patty

my opinions.my thoughts.my feelings.

So, I've had ideas of what I wanted this post to be, and I can't think of a better day than on the eve of Ramadan to write it. There are different sayings or culture things that I take from different cultures and make it I own (I'll admit it). For instance, in Liberian speech, I still say "sorry oh", which means that you are REALLY sorry for something. In Southern Africa, when you shake hands, you don't let your other hand just "swing about wildly like it has a mind of its own" <-- Alexander McCall Smith describes this (although that was a paraphrase), so you hold your other arm as a sign of respect.

In Arabic culture, you greet everyone before you start work. I really like this, but it involves going around to every person, saying, "How are you? Well?" It's one of my favourite things. Also what I love about Arabic/Muslim culture is the sense of community. A couple of weeks ago, one of national staff lost his mother. The moment people heard, they told me, and I sat there, thinking, "Oh, that's terrible". My national staff looked at me for a second and said, "You must go greet him". You have to go give your condolences right then. In that moment of someone's greatest need, there is nothing of more importance than to show you care. Another interesting fact though is that you're not supposed to say, "I'm sorry". That means that you disagree with Allah's (which, just to clarify, Allah is just Arabic for God)will. That was hard for me, but luckily, he understands us foreigners as all I could muster was, "I'm so sorry!"

So my main point that I've been wanting to write about for a long time is the thought that how we, as humans are often so scared of what we don't know. For instance, in Switzerland, I've been twice now to go to Headquarters. I've always hated their public transport system. The last time, I sat and decided, "why do I have such strong dislike for the transport?" And I realised, it's because I don't know it! It was after I went a couple of places and realised that "hey, this isn't so bad"- it's because I was getting it. I now know about the system, so I'm not so scared of it anymore.

Working in relief work, I know that I have a disconnect from most people. Being from the States and working with Muslims, I feel as though I have an even bigger disconnect. I know what the preconceived notion is, I grew up in the States as well. We're kind of taught to fear Islam and things we aren't familiar with. I wish that with the blink of an eye, I could rid people's thoughts of these. But just like the transport system for me, we're scared of what we don't know.

Being in Sudan, I have met people who live out their faith more than any Christian I've ever met. They are caring, loving, give all of what they have for others, and are so faithful. To be completely honest, I have found myself fighting feelings of resentment against Christians. That they are lame, non compassionate, complacent and judgmental. The Muslims would gladly welcome you with open arms, and show kindness. Yet in America, many have judged those here, without even knowing them, labeling them as something a majority of them are not.

So I've been thinking, What would happen? What would happen if we all greeted each other, (yes, even the bum on the street that we walk by and pretend doesn't exist?). What if we saw each other as human? Not as political parties, not as something superficial, but as human. I even wonder how many of our problems within politics are due to the Christian hardness to show compassion and blaming someone else? What if we stopped asking, "why should I have to do this for someone else" and instead asked, "what can I do for you?"

I'm tired of being asked "why do you care so much?" Should the question be, "why do we as human beings not care enough?


I am grateful for this experience, that my eyes have been open to my own faults. I pray that I can be one to whom someone else can say, "Man, I've never met anyone else that lives out what she believes in word and deed like Patty Hutton". I know that I not never mess up again, but just a reinforcement of my part to "Love God, love people and love life".

No exceptions.

Learning along the way,
~P

stories change everything

Ahum de Allah!! It rained tonight! Wow. Maybe rainy season has officially begun. I have been told much about the rainy season, but for some reason it has been late this year. That was the first real rain tonight, although it did not last very long. Let me tell you though, the smell of rain in the desert is probably one of the most beautiful scents I have ever smelled.

Well, I have been here awhile and feel like an expert and a newbie all at the same time. The national staff here really are just rockstars. I love THEIR excitement and how excited they are about learning. I feel like we are all learning from each other, and that is a beautiful thing.

We are working on a project doing hygiene promotion in schools. I am so freakin' excited about it! Hygiene Promotion really saves lives. Just from the little training I gave today- did you know that JUST by handwashing with soap- not counting other aspects of hygiene, that can decrease diarrhea morbidity in children under 5 by about 34%? some studies have up to 47%!!! Just by washing your hands! And respiratory diseases by up to 25%. I know it might seem far fetched to Westerners who grow up all our lives being told to wash our hands- (I think some of us do not even know why!) But imagine growing up in the desert or the bush, where you don't have access to soap and you are not told that your entire life. (Fun fact: if you don't have soap, you can use ash- learned that from my WASH guru, Bev Kauffeldt 3 years ago). So, yes. I'm quite excited about this project. In case you couldn't tell.

In other news. This is a really exciting week. Lots happening. If you don't watch the news, hopefully you can turn it on and see something about Sudan, because there's nothing much except for the small fact that the entire world as we know it is about to change. No, I'm actually not exaggerating. It's true. As of Saturday, 9 July, 2011. One country will become 2. South Sudan will separate and well, will become South Sudan. The more I think about it, the more I am still in awe that I can even be here at this time! I get to be in Sudan when 1 becomes 2. That doesn't exactly happen every day. All eyes are on July 9 as no one really knows what will happen. As Sudan has been through and even at this very moment continues to go through so much (if you have no idea about Sudan- please, just look it up somewhere- there's tons of information out there), no ones really knows. South Sudanese will become foreigners as they will have their own country, but what else will happen? Only time will tell. But in the meantime, I sit and think about the vast history and beauty that I am so blessed to see and be apart of right now. The faces and the stories I now know (true, some of them have been hard to digest). Names with stories change everything. I'm convinced of it. When you know someone's story, the story you see on TV, will never be the same.

Here's to the hope that no story will ever be the same,
Patty

Inshallah

Hello,

Well, this post is a bit overdue. I made it here over a week ago. Man! A lot has happened since then. Sorry for no photos, but I haven't taken pictures- as I'm waiting for my photo permit. But anyway, First, coming off the flight to Khartoum, oh, man, it was hot. We landed about 6 p.m. and it was somewhere around 106 degrees. In pants and a scarf around my arms- it was proven to seem warmer than that. I ended up staying in Khartoum for a couple of days before I headed to Darfur. This gave me enough time to enough this fabulous drink Lemon with Mint. We were at this restaurant, and so I asked the waiter what the green-looking slushie thing was he brought out for the other table- he said that is the Lemon with Mint and that I am sure to like it- or he would bring me something else. Oh, man- he was so right! I became addicted. It is just nice to have on a hot day. It's quite refreshing

The first couple of nights, it was hard to sleep through the call to prayer. I've lived by mosques and have heard it, but when you're in a place with multiple call to prayers, it can seem quite loud and quite startling when it wakes you up from sleep. I can't describe it as anything less than hauntingly beautiful. The melody is enticing and to then watch the prayers of the faithful is quite a humbling thing to be a part of.

So, I made it to where I'm supposed to be, where it's a bit cooler than Khartoum- as we're getting a bit of rain. The team here is great and the staff are even better! They are so gracious that my Arabic is terrible- although- i must say in the week I've been here my Arabic has grown about 80%, but that's because it wasn't very big to start out with....Lesson number 1 that I learned quickly is to soak your sheets in water at night....it helps to actually get to sleep before you start sweating profusely, wondering if you will survive the night.

I survived my initial getting acclimated phase. which means i survived my initial sickness. It's common to get a bug here or there and I got one alright. Luckily it was on Thursday before our day off on Friday. However, due to this, I have developed an unhealthy addiction to 7UP. It's probably not healthy, but i can't help it, it just tastes sooo good.

Anyway, so this week has been getting lots of information. I'm glad to be back on the field again. Excited to be working in part with hygiene in schools. Remember, poo and water don't mix- (by the way, Bev, I never got that on a t-shirt....why is that?) it's just a great feeling to be around people that have the same heart, who are here because they believe that they can somehow make a difference. I'm not saying that those who aren't in the field are otherwise....it's just nice to not feel awkward! We live in the same place, we see the same things, and even though we are here, we still wonder if we're even making a difference. Well, I've survived my first 10 days. Here's to the next 10.

Inshallah.

If God wills.

~Patty

new post

Hi friends,

Well, I guess I should have an update. It's been quite a while. First, I've ended up cutting my hair extremely short. Yep, I cried shortly after. my hair has never been that short. Ever. But, I must say, it's growing in quite nicely. Because it's so curly, it will take a while for it to grow to where I'd like it to be- but we're on a good start.

Well, hopefully you have now noticed the change in the name of my blog, from Patty in Haiti to "Patty in Sudan". I have taken a new position in North Sudan. I'm currently in Switzerland for trainings and briefings. I have finally come to the point where leaving America was a bit difficult. However, I know that this is where I am supposed to be for this period of time. I won't go into all the details, but it's just nice that God is patient with me.

So, I invite you to join me on this journey. It'll prove to be a challenge, but I'm excited.

Learning along the way,
Patty